Thursday, November 4, 2010

Russell Peters On Comedy [Uncensored]

I found these videos on YouTube and I feel like sharing them with you.
So folks, sit back and enjoy.









Wednesday, November 3, 2010

No Other


 
   There’s no one like you. When I look around, they're all just the same. Where can I find a good person like you, a good heart like you and a gift as great as you. What a relief that it's me who is trying so hard to protect you. Where can you find a person as happy as me, a person that smiles like me, the happiest person.

   When your warm hands turn cold, when a strong heart like yous damaged badly, I'll hold and hug you gently. I wish that it could cheer you up. You don't have to know that my heart's always trying to do more for you. My heart yells and tell me that there's more days ahead of us than the times I loved you with the feelings I had in the beginning.

   There’s no one like you. When I look around, they're all just the same. Where can I find a good person like you, a good heart like you and a gift as great as you. What a relief that it's me who is trying so hard to protect you. Where can you find a person as happy as me, a person that smiles like me, the happiest person.

   When the poor heart of mine shined bright and started changing, it prevents my small greeds from overflowing. When the dish of my heart grew bigger, I already know that the reason for all that was because you were there for me, just that one reason. I'm always thankful but I won't be able to do as well as you do.My heart yells and tell me that there's more days ahead of us than the times I loved you with the feelings I had in the beginning.

   There’s no one like you. When I look around, they're all just the same. Where can I find a good person like you, a good heart like you and a gift as great as you. What a relief that it's me who is trying so hard to protect you. Where can you find a person as happy as me, a person that smiles like me, the happiest person.

   You know, I’m a little bit shy, you don’t know that my heart is hotter than the sun. Even those girls that appears on TV shows are sparkling, you’re always be the one in my eyes (I’m going crazy, baby).
I get the whole world when you said that you love me. You & I, you’re so fine, will there be any other like you? I love you. Oh, you're the only one. To a fool like me, please understand that you're my all.We walked down the same road. We're becoming more alike. I'm just surprised, thankful and I just love you.

   There’s no one like you. When I look around, they're all just the same. Where can I find a good person like you, a good heart like you and a gift as great as you. What a relief that it's me who is trying so hard to protect you. Where can you find a person as happy as me, a person that smiles like me, the happiest person.

Lyrics
Super Junior

Some of the People Who Annoy Me

     I am fairly unassuming and tolerant by nature. Nevertheless, I can be peeved by some characters whom I come across all too often. I will clasify them into three categories - 'A','B' and 'C'.

     The Category 'A' type are the rude and haughty waiters and waitresses at fast-food outlets. When you get to their counter, they will look down at you from their noses, put on a stern look and growl, "Yes? What do you want?". When you ask them for recommendations or 'special offers', they will stare at you and say,"They're all on the menu.". When you ask them for help, they will just point with their fingers to the menu panels behind them above their heads. Then, when you place your orders, they will just take out a pen and an order booklet and tick away. Then, they will repeat your orders in rapid-fire Manglish which only they can comprehend. Then, when you ask for less ice in your drink, they will just pretend not to hear youand fill a cup three-quarterful with ice. Then, if you ask for extra chilli or tomato sauce, they will stare at you as though you were trying to cheat them. Then, they will take your money and give you the balance without a smile or a 'Thank you.'. Such creeps make me feel like a beggar. However, I will not let such creeps spoil my meal. So I say to myself,"Let them be. Patient! Patient!."

     The Category 'B' type are the fakes who obviously have returned from some foreign land. They are the show-offs. I do not mean the swanky rich ones in flashy cars and mod attire or the studious ones with strings of 'A's'. I mean the vain and uptight ones who have just returned from some foreign land, probably after some years of education there.Such show-offs try to project a superior image by speaking with an American twang, in a nasal tone and gestring spiritedly. Their fake accent makes the letter 's' sounds like 'sh'.So instead of saying 'I saw something like a star in the sky.', they will fake it as 'Ishaw shomething like a shtar in the shky.' Not only that. When such fakes speak, they will tilt heir hands from side to side - making themselves look like clowns or giddy goats. The irritating thing is that, by trying to project their superior image, they appear unnatural. Sometimes, I feel like giving such airheads a tight slap across their faces so as to bring them back to reality. However, I am not the aggressive ype. So, I say to myself,"Let them be. Patient! Paient!.".

     The Category 'C' type are the ones in charge of things and, as such, think that they know everything. These are the school prefects, class monitors and office-bearers of school societies. Some of them, once put into positions of authority, act haughtily and behave as if they could do no wrong. Some prefects punish late-comers unfairly - not giving them a chance to explain. Some monitorscontrol their classmates by threatening them, carrying tales and putting them into hot soup. Some office-bearers run their societies like their private clubs - turning a deaf ear to the suggections of ordinary members. Believe me, some of them are incredibly empty-headed and devoid of any common sense. Sometimes, I feel like giving such creatures a good kick in their butts so as to put some humility in their souls. However, I am the non-violent type. So, I say to myself,"Let them be. Patient! Patient!.".

     In conclussion, I say that the world is such. There are some who are good and sensible like myself and others who are bad and senseless like those in Categories 'A', 'B' and 'C'. All said, there must be more bad ones than good ones. That is why there is so much misery in this world.

H.P. Ngooi

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Smart Aleck

There was this smart aleck who sent the following e-mail to his dad from his college in the US:

Dear Dad,

I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying like nobody'$ bu$ine$$ and I am $imply $o happy $ince I came to the U$. $end my love and ki$$e$ to mum and my baby $i$ter.

Love,
Your $on


The dad replies as follows:

Dear Son,


I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep an hoNOur's student busy. Do NOt forget the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task.

Love,
Your Dad